More on John Grisham’s Cluelessness
Posted on October 27, 2009 at 11:52 pm by kyliu
Tags: absurd, bookreviews, john grisham, law
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Continuing the saga of nitpicking amusing errors made by Grisham in his attempt to portray associate life at a big firm. This is not an exhaustive list, only the ones that I bothered writing up.
I should preface this by saying that Grisham gets much right, and he did do his research. He’s also a skilled technician who can make up for errors with a relentless sense of narrative drive. The errors are mostly in the small, innocuous details that no one other than law firm associates would care about. Yet, it’s these details that build up into the real sense of a place and a way of life, and not getting them right means that you are losing some of the essence of what you are trying to capture. It’s like how Hollywood never gets any scene that’s supposed to take place in China right — there’s too much of the Chinatown in them — but most American audience members couldn’t care less, except those who have some real understanding of China and find the errors grating.
Moving on.
With 103 associates at a starting salary of $200,000, there was now more than $20 million in fresh legal talent sitting in the room. A lot of money, but over the next twelve months each would bill at least two thousand hours at $300-$400 an hour.
One, the “starting salary” is in fact far higher, taking into account “bonuses” which are paid upon meeting billable hours targets. (Ignoring, for now, the effect of the economic downturn.)
Two, 2000 billable hours is probably in the neighborhood of being right as far as the publicly disclosed numbers are concerned. In reality, the “requirements” are far higher.
The first gunner appeared … and they immediately knew where he was from because in the midst of his first question he managed to say, “Well, at Harvard, we were taught that not all known facts should be included in the initial lawsuit.”
First of all, no one at these places care that you went to Harvard — Harvard diplomas are used as wallpaper, and besides, Yale is considered better. Second of all, no one from Harvard — gunners included — would ever voluntarily bring up the fact that they went to Harvard. It’s called dropping the “H-bomb” for a reason. Third, you might learn that “lesson” from legal dramas, but you are certainly not going to learn it at Harvard.
His long hours led to a product, an important journal [the Yale Law Journal] that was published eight times a year and read very widely by lawyers and judges and scholars.
Hahaha… excuse me … bwahahahahahaha. I have yet to meet a single lawyer who reads law reviews. Maybe some judges — or at least their clerks — do. Student-edited law reviews and journals are quickly falling into the realm of tools for scholars to engage in an activity the Chinese call “YY.”
Dale Armstrong arrived promptly at seven … the bulk of her fat salary was being spent on designer clothing, and Kyle, along with Tim and Tabor, looked forward to the daily fashion statement.
“You look great today,” Kyle said with a smile.
“Thank you.”
“Prada?”
“Dolce & Gabbana.”
“Killer shoes. Blahniks?”
“Jimmy Choo.”
“Five hundred bucks?”
“Don’t ask.”
There are so many things wrong with this “conversation” that it’s hard to know where to start.
First of all, the idea that first-years would engage in open commentary about a female colleague’s appearance and dress is truly hilarious: these guys are lawyers; they ought to know what “sexual harassment” means.
Second of all, even if a conversation similar to this one were to occur among friends, it would not be so cringe-inducing. Look, if even I know these brands, that means they cannot possibly make a “fashion statement” any more, see? (And really, talking about prices? Come on.)
Finally, that seven o’clock starting time (and even worse, Kyle’s 6 o’clock starting time)? Heh heh. He should have asked a New York Biglaw associate about “New York hours.”
Like John Irving, Grisham has real issues with endings. The ending for this tale promises to disappoint as well. You have been forewarned.
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